This is a long one…

Jessica Nuccio (02:22:06): oh hi so……….what exaaaactly would you do if you heard scrabbling, small animal noises coming from your living room and couldn’t find your phone to call anyone for help
Jessica Nuccio (02:22:08): ??
Justin Blake (02:22:58): wow… well first i would freak out and then immediately try to hide it because i am a man
Justin Blake (02:23:35): then i would try to find something that could be used to defend myself, preferably a broom, least preferably a shoe
Justin Blake (02:23:47): and then
Justin Blake (02:23:50): investigate
Jessica Nuccio (02:23:56): WHAT
Jessica Nuccio (02:24:02): WHAT IF IT RUNS AT ME
Jessica Nuccio (02:24:06): OR INTO THE BEDROOM
Jessica Nuccio (02:24:09): I HAVE NO DOORS
Justin Blake (02:24:11): thats when you use the shoe!
Jessica Nuccio (02:24:16): holy shit
Jessica Nuccio (02:24:21): I can’t kill a mammal
Justin Blake (02:24:29): not to kill, to deflect
Justin Blake (02:24:30): deter
Jessica Nuccio (02:24:43): to where????? it might end up somewhere worse
Justin Blake (02:24:45): to shoo, pardon the pun
Justin Blake (02:24:57): out the door
Justin Blake (02:25:00): wait… you have no doors?
Justin Blake (02:25:04): how did you get in..?
Jessica Nuccio (02:25:08): no doors
Jessica Nuccio (02:25:12): haha
Justin Blake (02:25:12): this is like that movie dream science…
Justin Blake (02:25:16): i mean book
Jessica Nuccio (02:25:45): but what if it runs to the bedroom
Jessica Nuccio (02:25:54): I can’t believe I can’t find my phone
Justin Blake (02:25:58): OH you have no bedroom doors
Jessica Nuccio (02:26:12): I ran over there to grab the purse and ran back away
Justin Blake (02:26:14): do you want me to call someone to come rescue you…? that would be tough to explain…
Jessica Nuccio (02:26:27): dumped the purse out
Jessica Nuccio (02:26:27): no phone
Jessica Nuccio (02:26:33): I know! it’s like 1:30am!
Justin Blake (02:27:15): you need like… some lunch meat or something…
Justin Blake (02:27:19): which i’m guessing you don’t have
Jessica Nuccio (02:27:24): yeah
Jessica Nuccio (02:27:26): and anyway
Jessica Nuccio (02:27:34): the fridge is on The Other Side
Justin Blake (02:27:37): haha
Justin Blake (02:28:24): you are bigger than this animal. just make yourself big and threatening and it will run away from you, not at you
Justin Blake (02:28:34): get to the door and open it
Justin Blake (02:28:37): then shoo it out
Jessica Nuccio (02:29:39): oh and did I mention the internet doesn’t really work on this side of the house
Justin Blake (02:30:14): awesome…
Jessica Nuccio (02:32:22): oh my god
Jessica Nuccio (02:32:27): I’m going to die
Jessica Nuccio (02:32:35): I can hear it
Justin Blake (02:32:44): how loud?
Justin Blake (02:32:47): like racoon size?
Justin Blake (02:32:50): or rat size?
Jessica Nuccio (02:33:03): maybe bill size
Jessica Nuccio (02:33:07): but it is scrabbling
Jessica Nuccio (02:33:11): in tissue paper
Jessica Nuccio (02:33:16): do you know how loud that is
Justin Blake (02:33:16): wait a minute…
Jessica Nuccio (02:33:19): it’s loud
Justin Blake (02:33:23): bill size?
Jessica Nuccio (02:33:30): I haven’t actually seen it
Jessica Nuccio (02:33:36): it could be anything
Justin Blake (02:33:51): we are probably talking about a mouse. maybe a rat…
Justin Blake (02:34:07): i mean, otherwise, how could it have gotten in?
Jessica Nuccio (02:34:13): right
Justin Blake (02:34:43): do you have like a bucket or pal or anything?
Justin Blake (02:36:25): or a box or anything, you need to capture it
Justin Blake (02:37:17): or a trash can!
Justin Blake (02:37:36): are you there…? have you been bitten? do you have the rabies?
Jessica Nuccio (02:41:35): I went to see if any of my neighbors’ lights were on
Jessica Nuccio (02:41:40): signifying awakeness
Jessica Nuccio (02:41:43): they weren’t
Justin Blake (02:41:59): right, because it is the middle of the night
Justin Blake (02:42:08): the times when critters stir
Jessica Nuccio (02:42:08): how am I gonna get a bucket over it isn’t it gonna run
Justin Blake (02:42:09): and scrabble
Justin Blake (02:42:18): yes, you have to be quick
Justin Blake (02:42:35): OR get some delicious food from The Other Side fridge and TRAP it
Jessica Nuccio (02:42:36): that’s bad because I’m very slow and uncoordinated
Justin Blake (02:43:10): there should be a crisis line for situations like this
Jessica Nuccio (02:43:33): yes and then I would call it OH WAIT I CAN’T FIND MY PHONE
Justin Blake (02:43:42): haha
Justin Blake (02:43:50): if you don’t want to kill it, and you can’t trap it, your only other option is to make a break for it
Jessica Nuccio (02:44:07): what does that entail??
Justin Blake (02:44:55): give up your domicile to the intruder, at least for tonight. find a safe haven and tackle the problem in the daylight
Justin Blake (02:45:06): of course, the you could just go to sleep, it will probably leave you alone…
Jessica Nuccio (02:45:30): but now I have Bill in here in a box and he is going to start scrabbling too
Jessica Nuccio (02:45:45): oh god I need a husband stat
Justin Blake (02:45:58): are you sure that it wasn’t bill in the first place?
Jessica Nuccio (02:46:16): no
Jessica Nuccio (02:46:21): I thought it was
Jessica Nuccio (02:46:25): I was like dude you are loud
Jessica Nuccio (02:46:35): so I brought him over here to tend to his wound
Jessica Nuccio (02:46:45): and much louder scrabblings began
Justin Blake (02:47:17): well again, i can call someone if you want… i am running out of ideas 🙁
Justin Blake (02:47:33): OR
Justin Blake (02:47:37): or i can call YOUR phone
Justin Blake (02:47:40): so you can find it
Jessica Nuccio (02:47:56): I think
Jessica Nuccio (02:48:02): it may be in the back of a car
Justin Blake (02:48:12): make a break for it!
Jessica Nuccio (02:48:21): for what??
Justin Blake (02:48:26): for the back of your car
Jessica Nuccio (02:48:37): it’s not my car! i don’t have one!
Justin Blake (02:48:47): wow
Justin Blake (02:49:45): yeah i’m out of ideas
Justin Blake (02:49:57): hunt it down is my vote, capture it or shoo it out somehow
Jessica Nuccio (02:51:29):
Jessica Nuccio (02:51:35): WHY WOULD IT BE ON A TABLE
Justin Blake (02:52:20): yeah… how would it even get up there?
Jessica Nuccio (02:52:29): what the hell right
Justin Blake (02:52:35): yeah, lame
Justin Blake (02:53:05): just put some delicious food in an empty trash can or something on its side on the floor and watch, when you see it go in lift the can and cover it
Justin Blake (02:53:15): but
Justin Blake (02:53:17): that could take a while
Jessica Nuccio (03:00:58): ok
Jessica Nuccio (03:01:06): in order to keep it in that room
Jessica Nuccio (03:01:09): overnight
Jessica Nuccio (03:01:18): which lights should I leave on and which off
Jessica Nuccio (03:01:24): to deter or attract it
Justin Blake (03:01:43): i am no expert, but i would keep the lights off where you want it, and on where you don’t want it
Jessica Nuccio (03:01:51): right
Jessica Nuccio (03:02:44): should I try to get Bill back in his house over there
Jessica Nuccio (03:03:05): that little bitch probably found some of his seeds that spilled somewhere
Justin Blake (03:04:01): hah! i would keep bill with you if you can, so you know what scrabbling is what
Jessica Nuccio (03:05:05): I’m not gonna sleep all night
Jessica Nuccio (03:05:12): maybe I should write a novel or something
Jessica Nuccio (03:05:18): I wish my tv was in here
Jessica Nuccio (03:05:21): or at least like
Jessica Nuccio (03:05:23): 1 dvd
Justin Blake (03:16:18): at least you have the internet
Justin Blake (03:16:24): but alas, i am about to fall asleep
Justin Blake (03:16:45): “at least you have the internet” might be the most depressing thing i’ve ever told someone…
Jessica Nuccio (03:21:20): yeah
Jessica Nuccio (03:21:24): I don’t really
Jessica Nuccio (03:21:29): only on this windowsill
Jessica Nuccio (03:21:40): far from a chair or bed or table
Justin Blake (03:21:50): man
Justin Blake (03:21:52): i’m sorry

Justin Blake (09:54:47): did you survive?
Jessica Nuccio (09:55:04): so far
Jessica Nuccio (09:55:05): yes
Justin Blake (09:55:14): have you found the intruder?
Jessica Nuccio (09:55:20): negative
Jessica Nuccio (09:55:30): nor have I made an attempt to
Justin Blake (09:56:31): so you’re still barricaded in your room?!
Jessica Nuccio (09:57:10): well
Jessica Nuccio (09:57:16): it isn’t scrabbling now
Jessica Nuccio (09:57:27): and the barricade was only made of light
Jessica Nuccio (09:57:39): rendering it useless past like 5:30am
Justin Blake (09:58:02): man, friggin light barricades…
Jessica Nuccio (09:58:32): yeah talk about obsolete technology