Do not be jealous of my awesome mom

This is why my mom is awesome:

Hello My One and Only Son,

Your mother is very nervous about the four wheeler. I know they are fun and dangerous! We have a very good helmet in the attic would you like us to bring it up? Don’t go very fast. Don’t hit any bumps. Drive slowly. Wear safety glasses and a helmet and a jacket and shoulder pads. Maybe you should put on a roll bar in case it tumbles over. Don’t run out of gas in the middle of the woods with alligators and bears. Don’t drive in the dark. Don’t close your eyes while driving. And don’t tell Nathan you have a four wheeler. He might get some ideas that he can ride on it.

Do you love me as hard as my mom does? I don’t think so.