Fruit tried to kill me today. Twice.

Eating fruit makes my mouth and throat hurt. It also gives me heartburn. This is a problem because fruit is delicious and also healthy.

Potato chips do not cause these problems.

Sarah Silverman sang a poop song today. Not a song that mentions poop but a _poop song_. You should watch that show. It is good.

One more thing before you leave! You need one of those huge desk-top calculators with the big buttons that prints out receipt paper. You need one because they are _awesome_. It is how I do all my math. Do not be jealous.


Contractions are funnier when pulled apart.


bq. Please don’t drink the coffee. There’s poop in it!

Is less funny than:

bq. Please _do not_ drink the coffee. There is poop in it!

Also, the word “poop” is funnier than it’s more vulgar alternatives.

*UPDATE:* I meant contractions like with _words_ not contractions like with _labor_. Thanks “Kristine”:!

a workshop WILL take place

Submissions are invited which are case studies dealing with mass customization and personalization. The amateurs were actually eating the jalapenos, taking bites and chewing thoroughly, while the pros just inhaled. To maintain an efficient cost position, customer needs should not be mapped into single products but into a family of products, from which many variants can be derived.