Oh man… I totally got stung by something this morning. A bee? Maybe. Something more nefarious? That’s what I’m thinking.

I’ve never been stung before. It _hurts_. I’m willing to bet it’s about a billion times worse than childbirth. If you’ve been stung, and you disagree, you probably got stung by a _baby_ bee. I’m pretty sure the bee that stung me had super powers. Super stinging powers.

It’s a good thing I have such a high tolerance for pain (I didn’t even cry!), or else I wouldn’t even be able to blog this post about my experience. I would be curled up in the yard getting stung by even more super bees.

I am not even joking. My leg might fall off. I might die. I am not even joking.

Fruit and thanks.

I started eating fruit again. The itchy mouth it causes is not nearly as bad as the metal mouth it fixes. So far watermelon is my favorite. Orange juice (does that count?) is a close second. No pulp!

About 10 lbs. of thanks goes out to “James”:http://xamichee.net/ of “squareFACTOR”:http://squarefactor.com/ for creating the new “online presence”:http://megablaix.com/ of my corporate entity.

His birthday is Sunday. He is a pirate.

Any excuse will do.

I am not a smoker but I _am_ a _second-hand_ smoker. Oftentimes I will go outside for a second-hand smoking break where I stand amongst the smokers (and the trash cans) and soak up the warm rays of the sun. They are good breaks. Smoke (any kind) is on my top 5 list of best smells. I am not being sarcastic.

Consider yourself tasked.

I read excruciatingly slowly. If you were words, and murder was reading, it would take me three days to kill you. That is how slow I read. Now you know the facts.

Whether my goal is just one chapter or just one comic book, it takes so much longer than an average bowel movement that my legs often fall asleep. Now you know the problem.

I’m proposing subchapters (or just chapters at all in the case of a comic book). Mini-chapters within chapters. This would give me a much more realistic goal to work towards in one “session”. Now you know the solution.

Make it happen.