It is (well) after midnight which means I am twentyawesome years old today. “My wife”:/kari tells me I have gray hairs but I haven’t looked in a mirror hard enough to notice. You should see how fat I’ve gotten. Maybe you have. I like being fat.
I can’t wait till I’m bald.
*UPDATE:* There seems to be some confusion. I meant that I am “twenty-awesome” years old, _not_ “twenty” awesome years old. I said “twentyawesome” instead of “twenty-four”. I was making a joke. I make jokes sometimes.