Sleeping on the couch

It is (well) after midnight which means I am twentyawesome years old today. “My wife”:/kari tells me I have gray hairs but I haven’t looked in a mirror hard enough to notice. You should see how fat I’ve gotten. Maybe you have. I like being fat.

I can’t wait till I’m bald.

*UPDATE:* There seems to be some confusion. I meant that I am “twenty-awesome” years old, _not_ “twenty” awesome years old. I said “twentyawesome” instead of “twenty-four”. I was making a joke. I make jokes sometimes.


Hey there, family members who are calling me asking what I want for my birthday, “here’s some ideas”:

Hey check me out I just posted my amazon wish list to my _blog_. What’s next? Google ads? OMG SUBSCRIPTIONS?! *T-SHIRTS?!*